How to Create Your Own Writing Retreat

Structured time with a friend can help you reach your goals

There is a reality that some of us need to face when it comes to our writing practice. Even for the more disciplined of us, there’s only so much time and energy in the week if we’re also trying to earn a living (you know, to have a roof over our heads, and food in our cat’s bowl). I write for a living, which means that what I do can sometimes inform my work, or give me momentum for it, but that only happens when the stars align. Let’s jump to the recipe.

On a frustrated Tuesday afternoon, I was idly chatting to a person who, at that point, I considered a Facebook friend/acquaintance. We had been to the same writerly events, but had connected later on social media. I guess we had been casually following each other’s poetry from neighboring states, egging each other on when our pieces got accepted into journals. Liking her work helped me probably feel I knew her more than I did. And so, when we started chatting (or complaining) about 

1. How difficult it was to actually make our writing goals a priority. 

2. How difficult it was to afford organized writing retreats/conferences/festivals without institutions or sponsors to back us, I got an idea that I proposed without thinking too hard.

“Hey, my husband is going to be away on that weekend. Shall we organize our own little writing retreat at my house?”

As grown women, we were both kind of stunned by the possibility but also reasonably preoccupied with what could go wrong. Would we have the same pace/energy? Something that has become increasingly important to me in my 40s. Would we get along? Would we manage to write in each others’ presence? From her end, I suppose there was mom guilt. Is it ok to leave my husband and kids on the long weekend to pursue my passion?

She said yes. We discussed our goals and planned the days out with room for spontaneity. A common friend said she was excited to see us doing this, and that stamp of approval was another reassurance. 

And so, I’m here to encourage you (with a certain degree of caution, of course) to go for it. I’m happy to give you our formula, hoping that you, too, can have the productive time we had and forge a new, precious kinship through the connection of writing (and, in our case, food).

1. Discuss goals and expectations. You both need to benefit equally from your time together. What are your priorities? 

2. Exchange important information such as allergies, emergency contacts, and anything they need to know about you.

3. Discuss meals: will we cook, eat out, or a mixture of these? What do you need in the morning? Are you a coffee or tea drinker? Is there anything you’d rather not eat?

4. Discuss preferred sleeping and waking times. You want to be rested to be your best self and it’s also important to respect each others’ rhythms. A morning person meeting a night person might need to discuss further details here.

5. Let them know if you have any pets.

6. Understand whether there is anything you need to prep beforehand that will help you to ‘hit the ground running’ once the writing retreat starts. For example, prompts, or places to submit.

7. Plan an itinerary. This needs to be adapted to your preferences. Do you prefer to have a plan or to pants it? I liked having an approximate plan, even if, in the end, things might move around depending on our moods.

8. Get to know each other! 

9. The host could plan a meet-up with local writers or suggest any writerly event.

10. Plan something fun, like a visit to a cool library or bookshop.

11. Plan some movement, like a walk or hike, to give your brain some oxygen and your eyes something new to look at. It also gives you time to chat and review ideas.

12. Be each other’s biggest fan. Read each other’s work, discuss it honestly (what a luxury!), and open up about problem areas.

13. Aside from writing, what else might you have in common? We both really enjoy food and cooking, so we cooked for each other and I know that helped us bond and have a great time.

    

Host: Create areas where you might write next to each other in your home. Take them to your favorite cafes, libraries, and places were you like to write. Plan a trip to a bookshop or, depending on the time available to you, a local must-see museum. Bring out craft books or anything else that you find inspiring.

Remember, you don’t need to do the same thing simultaneously. One of you might edit while the other submits or uses a prompt to write something new. I look forward to hearing about your adventures with other writers and how they turned from near strangers to friends!

THANK YOU, CATHY! I HAD THE BEST TIME :))))))

PS: Company is precious but might not always be available. If you have a couple of light days coming up, consider organizing this for yourself. Make yourself accountable to a friend or partner and commit to a couple of days of focusing on your writing. You’ll be grateful for it and will reap the benefits for a while.